- The Top Twenty – no, wait – Top Twenty-Two – Are You Sure It’s Twenty-Two? No. The Top Twenty-Four Things an Obsessive Medical Student Must Know (but which won’t show up in an exam so you can relax and put the highlighter down and get yourself a Diet Coke)
- You don’t need to know the Krebs Cycle to lead a fulfilling life, or to treat 99.9% of your patients.
- If you use more than one color of highlighter, you are a tool.
- Don’t complain about the first two years of stupefying memorization. Two more years of stupefying medical procedures will follow.
- The bell curve is real except in your children’s school district where every child is above average.
- The horror of a liberal education is the recognition that stereotypes are real. Try to see beyond them, when appropriate.
- Patients forget, minimize, exaggerate and lie. They also tell the truth.
- Listen very carefully, and never believe a word they say. Appreciation of this paradox will make you a better doctor.
- Poor people aren’t phonies. The people who claim to speak for them are another matter.
- A good nurse is a godsend. If the nurses hate you, you will not sleep during residency.
- Do not try to save the world. You will end up hating those you are supposed to help.
- Acknowledge your prejudices. They may be based in reality. Think twice before acting on them.
- The prestige of your undergraduate institution might mean something on a resumé; nobody cares where you went to medical school.
- Do your residency where you plan to live. If you are any good at all, someone will invite you to join their practice.
- Here’s an old one: What do they call the person who graduates last in his medical school class? Answer: Doctor.
- It’s probably better to find the right combination of money and specialty that suits both your appetite and interest. Money is meager porridge if you’re a dermatologist who is revulsed by scaly skin.
- If a patient calls and wants to speak with you, call them back. Really. In the long run, it’s worth it.
- The average doctor will get sued during the course of a career. That’s America.
- Most doctors exaggerate their risk of being sued. The best defenses against a lawsuit are the practice of good medicine, and the cultivation of good relationships with your patients.
- If you attempt to avoid all risk for fear of being sued, then you are all but useless as a doctor.
- You will make mistakes. The good thing is it’s difficult to kill someone.
- You will be a better doctor if you assume no one takes the medication you prescribe.
- Exercise is a better antidepressant than antidepressant medication.
- Any patient can now go online and make himself more of an expert in a matter than you. Use that to your advantage. Ask the patient to tell you what he learned.
- Medicine can be a rewarding and remunerative profession – once you are out of training. Don’t complain too much.
